Oh, Onion, how we love you.

Below is a story from The Onion, which is a take on our culture’s unhealthy obsession with nostalgia.

Making fun of the ubiquity of cover bands and the lack of imagination in the general populace that creates a demand for such things, this little gem of satire takes this trend to the logical extreme, applying it not to classic rock but to classic lit. The Onion story is titled, “Cover Author Working On Word-For-Word Remake Of ‘Moby-Dick:'”

Cover author Gerald Putty told reporters Monday that he is about six months away from finishing a word-for-word rewrite of Herman Melville’s masterpieceMoby-Dick, saying that his version will be “utterly true in every way” to the original. “When you cover a novel like this, you’re tempted to play with all kinds of things—sentence structure, meter, all the commas,” said Putty, adding that fans of the original will be pleased that he retained the same chapter numbers and titles. “I might alter the font a little, but other than that, this book will be a pretty faithful cover.” Putty confessed that he has run into a few problems because his spelling is not as good as Melville’s, but said he felt no shame falling short of one of the greatest writers of all time.