Want a front row seat to a fabulous show today? Well, go over to the The Chronicle of Higher Education’s website for a grotesque presentation of intellectual bankruptcy in action.

Punishment for plagiarism was strict in prehistoric times.

Thanks to a tip from Galleycat, we found out that self-described “academic mercenary” “Ed Dante” (a pseudonym of course) will be doing a live chat in a follow up to an essay he penned recently for the Chronicle about his adventures as a academic paper writer for hire. Dante it seems has been working for a company that specializes in providing papers for students who can’t be bothered to do their own work but have somehow managed to get into college.

Here’s an example of writing from someone who has hired Dante to write a paper and is following up on his progress after they’ve sent him some source materials:

“did u get the sorce I send

please where you are now?

Desprit to pass spring projict”

Dante explains there are 3 demographic groups who use his services: “the English-as-second-language student; the hopelessly deficient student; and the lazy rich kid.”

Obviously every good capitalist looks for demand to exploit in order to make a profit, but this kind of business thrives in some pretty murky ethical territory, perhaps even illegal. Dante seems not to be bothered by this and is happy to help the rich kids part with their money:

Let’s be honest: The successful among us are not always the best and the brightest, and certainly not the most ethical. My favorite customers are those with an unlimited supply of money and no shortage of instructions on how they would like to see their work executed. While the deficient student will generally not know how to ask for what he wants until he doesn’t get it, the lazy rich student will know exactly what he wants. He is poised for a life of paying others and telling them what to do. Indeed, he is acquiring all the skills he needs to stay on top.

And then there’s a sort of weak moral justification for his providing papers for the other 2 demographics:

As for the first two types of students, the ESL and the hopelessly deficient, colleges are utterly failing them. Students who come to American universities from other countries find that their efforts to learn a new language are confounded not only by cultural difficulties but also by the pressures of grading. The focus on evaluation rather than education means that those who haven’t mastered English must do so quickly or suffer the consequences. My service provides a particularly quick way to “master” English. And those who are hopelessly deficient, a euphemism, I admit, struggle with communication in general.

It’s hard to know which demo George Bush falls into. At any rate, enjoy the show.