July 25, 2013
Recipes inspired by our favorite 2 Chainz songs, in honor of 2 Chainz’ upcoming cookbook
by Jean-Patrick Grillet
In a recent interview with radio station Power 105, the rapper Tauheed “2 Chainz” (fka “Tity Boi”) Epps confirmed that his next album, B.O.A.T.S II: Me Time, will be accompanied by a cookbook. 2 Chainz explained that the book will have 14 to 15 recipes (one per song), and:
“It’s gonna tell you what was used to make these, as far as ingredients and cooking times and all of that stuff… and probably the pros and the cons. I’m a seafood lover, I don’t eat beef or pork, period… So turkey, chicken, that’s a lot of the recipes I use and eat every day”
2 Chainz compared his dietary choices to those of an athlete. He says “I treat this rap like a sport, that’s my angle, so with the meals and all of that stuff, like… very few athletes eat fried food all day long… it’s just hard, it clogs up arteries…” Epps is very passionate about eating right, and he realizes that it’s not only a personal issue: “For black people, the leading cause of death is high blood pressure. All of that comes from what you eat. Yeah I eat salads.”
Melville House shares similar values with Chainz; we love words, we’re quirky, health conscious, and we make cookbooks. Okay, maybe those are weak links, but I decided it would be a good idea to use the information Epps has provided us, through interviews, lyrics and social media, to create a few recipes inspired by past songs. I tried to stay true to the rapper’s values while maintaining his signature “different-ness.” Bon appetit!
Song: “Yuck!” featuring Lil’ Wayne
-Canned goods (whatever you’ve got lingering in the cupboard will do)
-A meat rack
As 2 Chainz raps on “Yuck!,” the opening track off his debut album Based On A T.R.U. Story, “Before Benihana it was canned goods / Before canned goods it was Similac…”
Most of us can relate; at one point or another, we’ve found ourselves staring into our refrigerators, the day before payday, asking “how can I make all of this work together?” 2 Chainz’ saving grace? This hearty chili.
- In a large pot, thoroughly mix 20-25 scoops of Similac into 3 quarts of water. Bring water to a boil, then reduce heat.
- Add your canned goods. Whatever spices you have won’t hurt.
- Add your hot potato, chopped in big pieces.
- Add your hot bologna (pre-heated in the microwave for 2 minutes), along with as much meat as you can fit into the pot.
- Cover the pot with a tight fitting lid. Make sure that your heat is as low as possible. Listen to Based On a T.R.U. Story two times (110 minutes), stirring occasionally.
- Turn off heat, stir, and serve. Good luck with the meat, 2 Chainz forgot to tell me to cut it up before putting it in the pot.
Lil’ Wayne modification: drizzle in Codeine cough syrup liberally.
Latté Like Me
Song: “Like Me” featuring The Weeknd
-Organic Canadian milk (it matters)
-Fair Trade espresso coffee beans
“I’m different!” touts Chainz in several of his songs. This is true even for the rapper’s preferred caffeinated beverage. “Like Me” is a confessional of sorts complete with the crooning of a certain Canadian (not Biebz), and laced with Tity Boi’s signature gourmet lines. Here is the Latté Like Me:
- Using your top of the line home espresso machine, pull two shots and top with steamed milk.
- Stir in a half teaspoon of mustard and a half teaspoon of ketchup. I can’t really recommend a favorite ketchup, but spicier dijon mustards do (relatively) well in this concoction.
- Finally, stir in some chestnut paste. Serve in a Styrofoam cup. Good morning!
The Weeknd modification: pour out drink, replace with 1 part maple syrup, 8 parts Patron XO.
No Lime Guaca-holy-moly
Song: “No Lie” featuring Drake
-9 or 10 avocados (no lie!)
-Salt & pepper
-Lemon juice, no lime.
-Spinach (the frozen kind)
One of the biggest hits off of 2 Chainz’ debut album was his collaboration with yet another Canadian, Mr. Aubrey Graham himself, better known as Drake. Chainz’ take on guacamole drops the lime and adds spinach for a greener twist (inspired by the Popeye reference in the song).
- Cut your avocados in half, remove pits, slice. Spoon into a big bowl.
- Mince your onion and 2 or 3 Serrano chilies as finely as you can. Add to bowl.
- Add salt, pepper, a tablespoon of lemon juice and a tablespoon of olive oil.
- Add your thawed spinach.
- Stir until you reach desired smoothness/ chunky-ness.
- 2 Chainz recommends serving this in a convertible with your “Bread up and your top down.”
Drake modification: only eat chicken nuggets, ever. And expensive champagne.
Dope Peddler’s “Different” Surf & Turf
Song: “Dope Peddler”
-A (Turkey) Fatburger
-Polar bear meat
-Salt and pepper
-Garlic butter from the Benihana
“Fine wine and lobster tail… Pockets on Fatburger!” Walk into any fancy restaurant and they probably have a variation of this all-star land and sea dish. But Tauheed truly bridges the gap from cow (turkey, since we know 2 Chainz never eats pork or beef) to lobster with a delectable (albeit extremely illegal) land-roaming, sea-swimming creature fond of red-labeled sodas: the polar bear. A bit salty, a bit earthy, polar bear ribs go well with both the turf and the surf of the dish, though drowned in garlic butter (for your Benihana issues, see the song “Crack”), everything tastes the same. And by that I mean T.R.U.ly delicious.
- Marinate the Polar bear meat in Benihana’s garlic butter for 12 hours.
- Preheat your grill to a low heat. Put ribs on the grill, listen to Based On a T.R.U. Story 4 times (220 minutes), checking occasionally.
- About 30 minutes before the ribs are done, whisk a tablespoon of olive oil, tbspn of fine wine, tbspn of Worcestershire, tbspn of lemon juice and a bunch of your spices in one bowl. Send your significant other to go buy a (Turkey) Fat Burger.
- Bring water to a boil. Add Lobster tails and boil for 7 minutes. Drain and shock under cold water. Cut away soft underside of shells. Remove meat, save the shells. Chop meat into chunks. Place the shells in a casserole dish, place meat in the shells, and cover with contents of the bowl. Broil on high until golden (Listen to “Dope Peddler” once).
- Turn off your grill. On one big ass plate, place a lobster tail on the left, ribs across the middle, and a fresh (Turkey) Fat Burger on the right. Cover in more garlic butter. For the persisting Benihana issues.
Yams Everywhere! Birthday Cake
Song: “Birthday Song” featuring Kanye West
-2 cups orange juice
-2 cups of brown sugar
-1 Teaspoon ground ginger
-1 Teaspoon cinnamon
-6 tbsp butter
-The best red velvet cake you can find
Most people know exactly what 2 Chainz wants for his birthday. But what kind of cake does he want?? I think we have the answer with this thick, creamy, golden brown, downright sinful dessert. Get ready to hit the kitchen with “yams everywhere!”
- Bring a large pot of water to a boil and add a bunch of salt. Boil the yams while you listen to “Birthday Song” two times in a row (10 minutes). Drain and set aside.
- Mix the remaining ingredients in a wide, shallow sauté pan and bring to a boil. Add sweet potatoes and coat well with sauce. Boil until sauce reduces to a syrup (Listen to “Birthday Song” another 2 times). Pour over that red velvet cake. Yams Everywhere!
Kanye West modification: smash the cake on the floor, forbid any collaborators from eating while recording another ridiculously good album.
Feds Watching Feta Greek Salad
Song: “Feds Watching” Featuring Pharell Williams
-1 hothouse cucumber
-1 red bell pepper
-1 yellow bell pepper
-1 pint cherry tomatoes
-1/2 red onion
-1/2 pound feta cheese
-1/2 cup kalamata olives, pitted
-2 garlic cloves
-1 teaspoon dried oregano
-1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard
-1/4 cup red wine vinegar
-Salt and pepper
-1/2 cup olive oil
Julian Assange, Eric Snowden… 2 Chainz? Many rappers are probably laughing at all of the privileged people running around concerned about the NSA because, well, those rappers’ neighborhoods have had their telephone wires tapped and/or cut altogether since the glorious Reagan era… but that’s a conversation for a different day. Instead let’s focus on the resolve of Chainz and Williams; to ‘”look fresh as hell if the feds watching.” Part of that look involves eating fresh stuff, like salad and ice cream. NSA slime might nail Chainz for some other greens he enjoys, but all they can do is ogle this particular dish.
- For the vinaigrette, whisk together the garlic, oregano, mustard, vinegar, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Still whisking, slowly add the olive oil to make an emulsion. Pour the vinaigrette over the vegetables. Add the feta and olives and toss lightly. Set aside and listen to about half of Based On a T.R.U. Story (30 minutes) to allow the flavors to blend.
- Slice cucumber into ¼ inch thick slices
- Dice peppers into large pieces.
- Cut cherry tomatoes in half
- Add contents to a bowl along with mixed greens and olives. Toss well.
- Serve with vinaigrette. You’re fresh as hell.
Pharell Williams modification: Julienne those peppers. Replace greens with romaine lettuce. Replace kalamata olives with top of the line Murat olives imported from Cyprus. Replace kosher salt with mediterranean sale marino. Garnish with perigord truffles. Fresh. As. Hell.
Love Beet Béchamel with F*ckin’ Portabellos!
Song: “F*ckin’ Problems” with A$AP Rocky, Drake and Kendrick Lamar
-2 tbsp butter
-1 cup heavy cream
-1/2 pint milk
This star studded song pays tribute to every rockstar’s biggest vice (if not drugs), women. The men of this song have no shame for their sex-obsessed lives, for better or worse. Regardless, they have taste when it comes to food, as this dish proves. (Fun fact, this recipe is quite similar to one found in Melville House’s own Duke’s Table!).
- For the béchamel sauce: In a pan, gently heat butter and a spoonful of flour, slowly adding milk. When out of milk, remove from heat and add cream, salt and pepper. Cover and set aside.
- Wash your portabellos, then arrange them in a casserole dish.
- Peel your beets. Boil them. Then slice and lay them over the portabellos.
- Cover in the béchamel, then bake at 325 degrees until golden brown. This is not a f*ckin’ problem.
A$AP Rocky modification: Throw away 2 Chainz’ plates and replace with Alessi dinnerware.
Drake modification: order a Kid’s Meal for Drake.
Kendrick Lamar modification: This is good. As long as it’s followed by Fruity Pebbles and cartoons.
Jean-Patrick Grillet is an intern at Melville House.