As the 10th annual National Poetry Month draws to a close, a news brief at The Onion observes the simultaneous effort by the American Poetry Prevention Society. “We must stop this scourge before more lives are exposed to poetry,” said APPS head Dr. John Nieman at a fundraising luncheon Monday. “It doesn’t just affect women. Young people, particularly morose high-school and college students, are very susceptible to this terrible affliction.”