December 3, 2015

The Poetry of Trump


BARD OF THE DEAL, image via HarperCollins

BARD OF THE DEAL, image via HarperCollins

Later this month, HarperCollins will publish reporter and humorist Hart Seely’s Bard of the Deal: The Poetry of Donald Trump, a book of poems crafted from interviews, speeches, and tweets by the real estate tycoon / reality game show host / presidential candidate Donald Trump.

For, Chris Baker reports that Seely spent six weeks combing through more than 30 years’ worth of The Donald’s oeuvre and wound up with nearly 200 poems that cover “Trump’s statements on women, Muslims, Mexicans, God, walls, money, America, hair, and, mostly, himself.”

The Guardian’s Alison Flood notes that “not a word of Trump’s had been changed to create the poems.” It’s clear why. Here’s “The Vicious Ones,” pulled from Trump’s August appearance on NBC’s Meet the Press:

I was attacked viciously
By those women,
Of course, it’s very hard for them
To attack me on looks,
Because I’m so good-looking.

But I was attacked very viciously
By those women.

And here is Trump on snacks (via the Los Angeles Times):

Nabisco. Nabisco!
Oreos! Right?
Oreos! I love Oreos!

I’ll never eat them again. OK?
I’ll never eat them again.

No . . . Nabisco.

“He’s clearly a brilliant man,” Seely said in an interview.“He just stands up there and says whatever comes into his head.”

Bard of the Deal: The Poetry of Donald Trump goes on sale December 15 and will be available in both paperback and ebook.



Taylor Sperry is an editor at Melville House.