A typical Amazon chart–one with absolutely no numbers, just colored bars that seem to increase dramatically–released on Monday to show nothing but confidence and optimism in the product. This is supposed to show what Amazon Prime has been up to the last ten years. Even the Y-axis is secret.

How many ways can you dodge an interview question? Yesterday, Amazon raised the bar.

You already knew that Amazon almost never speaks with the press. That’s because sales figures, data about customers, and any upcoming news is always top secret. Amazon loves secrets! It is definitely not because Amazon is terrible at talking to the press.

Yesterday, in an interview with Greg Bensinger at the Wall Street Journal, Prime vice president Greg Greeley managed to avoid answering questions about the number of subscribers, profits, drones, third-party products, price, and just about everything else.

The Wall Street Journal assigned a reporter with the same name as this vice president, and even in a Meeting that’s Just Us Gregs, there was nothing he would reveal. In fact, you could just replace every answer from Greeley with the words “that’s a secret”:

WSJ: How many Prime members do you have?

Greeley: We’re not letting out the numbers. Lots of competitors would love to know that. It’s continuing to be a very important part of our business. That’s a secret.

WSJ: Does Amazon make money on the Prime subscription price itself?
Greeley: We don’t break that out, obviously. If you look at the typical parcel rate card, what UPS or others will charge for two-day shipping, it’ll range from $15 to $45, so it’s pretty clear the $99 is not covering the cost of the two-day shipping for us. That’s a secret, obviously.

Here is the only direct answer Greeley gives, and it’s a direct yes-or-no question. Does the program actually benefit Amazon in some way? (I almost said “make a profit,” but if there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that Amazon isn’t interested in making a profit.)

WSJ: Do Prime members spend more on average than non-Prime members? What specifics can you provide?
Greeley: Yeah. Prime members, once they join, become more engaged and they start buying across more categories. We can be top of mind for everyday shopping that folks might previously have thought they’d do it through other channels.

But that was enough directness for one interview! Greeley continues to repeat that he can’t reveal anything:

WSJ: What is the rate of turnover among Prime members?
Greeley: We don’t break that out.

WSJ: You once experimented with a month-by-month Prime program. Is that an idea you’d ever revive?
Greeley: Don’t know what we may or may not do in the future. We tested that for a few months and basically just found the easier messaging is as an annual program. We found that worked better for us, it was easier to communicate.

So what’s coming next for Amazon? After reading this interview, you will have even less of an idea than you had before.

WSJ: When are all third-party products going to be available with Prime shipping benefits?
Greeley: We don’t have anything in the foreseeable future to talk about.

WSJ: Would Amazon consider a tiered pricing program for Prime, with greater benefits for those paying more?
Greeley: We’re always hesitant to talk about what we may or may not do in the future, but right now we’re super happy with the three tiers we have. We have three tiers of Prime right now: a student version, which is basically just discounted, with similar benefits; we have the $99 version; and we have the Prime Fresh program, which is $299 and includes access to all the fresh groceries. Those three tiers are working for us.

WSJ: Is it safe to assume that Prime Air, the drone delivery system, will be exclusive to Prime?
Greeley: We haven’t talked about that. We think of it as a Prime program, it’s a Prime program. We will be ready when the regulators are.

What is Amazon up to? Nothing, nothing at all. Nothing to see here. Move along, please.

This is gold. Go read the whole thing.