“According to recent studies, arguing on the internet is now the second most popular leisure activity in the world, just below shopping and just above sex.” So claims The Dabbler in its series on the rules and methods of internet debating, drawn from the eBook handbook ”The Theory and Practice of Blogmanship.” One key point made is that “nearly all blog comment threads end not in a clear victory for one party or another, but invariably peter out into a tangled and ill-tempered stalemate.” Therefore, the best bloggers and internet debaters do not try to win outright, but merely to “win the stalemate.” The blogger’s goal is “to create the impression that his intellect is vastly superior to that of his opponent, without getting into the awkward (and dangerous) business of actual reasoned debate.”

Here are some of The Dabbler‘s suggested techniques to “win” the stalemate, including:

1. Non-sequiturship “Nothing can bring a free-flowing opponent to a halt more effectively than a simple comment entirely devoid of relevance but loaded with superiority.”

2. Montgomerie’s Meta-Stopper: “In an emergency virtually any thread can be instantly stopped, without fear of counter, with the simple phrase: I wondered when somebody was going to say that.”

3. Condescension and Flattery: “Condescensionship and flatteryplay are the blogman’s bread-and-butter and can be dropped lightly into almost any thread to create the conditions in which the Stalemate can be won.”

A later installment of the series (“Advanced Techniques“) include such topics as “Advanced Trollmanship,” and “Moral indignationship (Warning: not for the beginner!).” Differences between U.S. and British blog wars are discussed. And a guide is provided to the most successful positions to hold in the most popular internet arguments. For example:

Climate change
Bet-hedging is advised, but gentle barbs should be made at sceptics, and strong ones at earnest believers.